Gardening Under the Influence

Here's a link my bi-weekly article at Edhat.com. Though slightly Santa Barbara-centric, it might give you some ideas on how to expand your summer adult-beverage chops while getting your garden tuned up.

Enjoy, and remember - you can be cited for gardening with a blood-alcohol level that exceeds 0.8.

From California to Chicago and Back

A few months ago I received a call from Elyse Umlauf, a writer and editor working from Chicago. In addition to her freelance work, she's written a book about the design and improvement of commercial spaces.

It took a moment for all my synapses to connect around the reason for her call. Follow me - this Chicago writer found me through my blog in Santa Barbara, because she needed to interview me for a story regarding sustainable landscaping in California for a Los Angeles realtor - whew!

Thanks to the magic of electronic communications, the information traveled about 6000 miles from Chi-town to the left coast, back to the Great Lakes, and on to LA, all without leaving a discernable carbon foot print (Elyse gained a few brownie points from Al Gore in the process). How green is that? I was glad to oblige and pontificated in my usual style. I even received a link from her article to my TV show and this blog.

Thought you might want to check it out. I think it's mighty cool.

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Going to Do a Top 10 List

Now that I'm writing regularly for three media outlets (Edhat.com, Coastal Woman, and Santa Barbara Homeowner), I have to come up with a lot of ideas for stories. Each has a very different readership and I need to use, as they say in the writing world, a different "voice" for each. So it would be easy to fall back on the tried and true top 10 lists: Billy's Favorite Plants; My 10 Favorite Garden Tools; 10 Ways to Get a Rabid Badger Out of Your Britches, etc. But here are 10 reasons I refuse to take that course...

1. If I tried to list 10 favorite plants, my brain would explode. There are too many and it would give the plants I left off a case of low self-esteem (yes, I'm anthropomorphizing).
2. I'm not fond of the number ten. I've always thought that if humans had four fingers on one hand and three on the other, we wouldn't be celebrating 100 year anniversaries, septi-sesqui-octo-centennials or any of that other base-10 crap. It's just a fluke of the universe that 10 is so damn important to us. I refuse to bestow any great significance on the number 10!
3. TEN are the initials of The Erotic Network, and this is a family show.
4. "Ten is the second discrete biprime (2.5) and the second member of the (2.q) discrete biprime family." Someone actually wrote this at Wikipedia. That's strange enough, but the amazing thing is it also means something to someone else. I wouldn't know where to begin deciphering that sentence. I still count on my fingers. I'm so embarrassed, I want nothing to do with that 'T' number. I'm not worthy.
5. I went to Home Depot yesterday trying to stimulate my story-writing lobe and could not find 10 plants I would willing use in a landscape design. I'm fed up with same frigging impatiens, petunias and lollipopped Marguerites I sold when I worked in nurseries in the 70s.
6. That's all I can think of...see, I told you I couldn't do it.

Mars Soil Capable of Sustaining Plant Live...however,

I was walking Biff the Wonder Spaniel, leash in one hand, LA Times in the other. Yes, I'm that nimble. On page A14 (Friday, June 27, 2008) was an article about "flabbergasted" scientists who were analyzing the potential of Martian soil. But what the story didn't delve into was the implications for professional garden coaches. No surprise there!

The Phoenix lander at the Martian pole has just analyzed a sugar-cube sized soil sample and the business implications for my landscape architectural consulting services are somewhat mixed. With a surprisingly alkaline pH ranging between 8 and 9, the variety of ornamental plants that can be grown will be similar to what I'm already used to here in SoCal. Lots of Mediterranean plants fall in that range and that's what I'm all about. The article only discussed edibles, indicating that asparagus and green beans would be fine, but strawberries would be hard pressed to thrive. I can extrapolate from this information that my plant palette potential will be most comfortable.

Phoenix also detected magnesium, sodium, potassium and chloride "all of which are useful in organic processes." However (and this is where my business model starts to fray a wee bit) there are no organic compounds. No carbon-based nothing. After doing a little number crunching and factoring the rising cost of gas, I can't imagine how I'd ship enough compost and manure to remedy this essential missing piece.

One more glitch: I usually charge 50% of my consulting rate as travel time for out-of-town clients. With flight times ranging from 6 to 9 months (not to mention the billable hours sucked up while trying to find parking at the airport), I'm wondering if there will be enough Martians of means to make this worthwhile.

I think I'll do some more market studies before I upload my ad to Craigslist.

Mexican Evening Primrose and Osteospermum

Mexican Evening Primrose and Osteospermum
Originally uploaded by gardenwiseguy

I was poring through my photo library and this sweet image popped up. Two very simple, easy to grow plants coexisting side by side made such a lovely combination that I had to snap this shot. The pink Mexican Evening Primrose (Oenothera berlandieri) can become pretty invasive in a well-watered garden, but can be a great slope holder in the right circumstances. It's purple partner (Osteospermum fruticosum - African Daisy) is another tough guy, but you wouldn't know it from the flowers.

I'm going to revisit this planting to see how Darwinism applies - who will prevail? I'd love to see the Primose scampering through the Daisy, a tangle of the two colors playing off each other.

If you look closely, the margins of the Primrose petals deepen to a richer pink that makes a nice transition to the purple beyond.

Nothing profound here. Please move along. Thank you.

Fantasia Mushrooms in a Pink Polka Dot Plant

I run the plant rescue facility where I work at the Santa Barbara Parks and Recreation Department. My official title is City Landscape Architect, but whenever an office-mate's gift orchid or grape ivy begins to succumb to benign neglect, guess who adopts them. It's not that I have a great affinity for house plants (although that's one reason I got interested in plants in the first place). I just have a great south-east facing window ledge along one side of my office. That, and I actually remember to water them when they need it. 

Enough preamble. A few months ago I became the adoptive daddy of a Pink Polka Dot Plant (Hypoestes phyllostachya). The plant had all but died a number of times, being a moisture loving specimen that had become rootbound in its original pot. So I cut it back to the nubs, repotted it in a slightly larger pot and it's been going strong for a number of months. I watered it. It lived. End of story?

Nope. Earlier this week I went to water it, and lo and behold, this absolutely perfectly formed, pale yellow funky fungus had sprouted along the edge of the pot!

It's a pretty sure bet that some spores had taken up residence in the potting soil and the planets just happened to align the right way to have one of them sprout. Looking a little further into the pot, a similarly colored, miniature colony had also sprouted a few inches away.

These were just stubby little, headless creatures with minor variations in their form. 

Like a breathless little kid who'd just won the 3rd grade science fair, I carried this bit of botanical wonderment around the office, first to the co-worker who had surrendered her parental rights to the plant in the first place. The universal response was "That's not real, is it?" Not being an expert on these creatures and knowing that some mystery mushrooms had toxic tendencies, we all decided to view it from a responsible distance, rather than poke and prod. 

I wish I could claim responsibility for this little bit of eye candy, but except for watering the cute lil dickens, I deserve no special accolades. By this morning, it had flopped over, turned a zombie-like shade of gray, and the thrill was gone. I hope it had enough time (and libido) to spread a few more spores. It would be fun to get a rerun of fun. 

Got Bored With My Template

Nothing new to post. Just got bored with my template so I switched to this one. The former bright green was starting to grate on my nerves and strain my eyes. So, being a landscape blogger, I have the requisite green theme; just a bit easier on the rods and cones.

Got some hot blog ideas blooming, including the surprise "Fantasia" mushroom that appeared overnight in my Pink Polka Dot plant on my office ledge.

Later, skaters