Wednesday, May 13, 2009

There's Dumb, and Then There's Dummerest!

That's artificial turf you're looking at. Those are real sprinklers popping up through the artificial turf. That's real water coming from the sprinklers. I'll flaunt my expertise here, but artificial turf doesn't need to be irrigated (unless someone dumps a Coke on it or a stray jackal upchucks a bit of wildebeest carrion).

I received this curious, unimaginably absurd image from Alison Jordan, Water Conservation Coordinator for the City of Santa Barbara.

Once I got up off the ground and finished wiping my eyes, I pondered the amazing series of events that would lead to a situation like this. I'll assume they didn't install the pop-up heads specifically for this project. There are some weird people on the planet, but I just can't fathom a thought process that resulted spending money to install an irrigation system for Astroturf. God have mercy if I'm wrong.

I'll guess there used to be turf in this strip and someone decided to replace it with faux grass. Lower maintenance, looks "neat." I'll not comment on fake turf here, but I'm not a fan, for a number of reasons.

But someone had to have noticed during the prep stages of the installation that there was a sprinkler system in place. Duh! They CUT HOLES in the plastic to allow the heads to rise!!!

I can't go on. Please leave a comment and provide SOME logical explanation other than "just because we all walk upright and have opposable thumbs, we're not all of the same species."

15 comments:

Monica the Garden Faerie said...

My thought is the same as yours: it used to be turf and the sprinklers were already in place. Oddly, many people only do the job they're paid to do (if that) and don't question/bring up odd things like "Um, why are there sprinklers here" -- or maybe they assumed they were no longer programmed to water, anyway. Where is this? I'm assuming a business, not private property? They just need to notify management that the sprinklers are still running. I'm HOPING the owners are offsite and assumed the sprinkler were turned off.

MikeTheGardenCoach said...

I think you missed the most ironic part - the head in the center is broken or missing, and it is washing a hole out of the parkway. Not only useless, but doing damage in the process...

And yes, that is truly living in the white zone...

danger garden said...

Thank you. I needed this today.

VW said...

I'm giggling. No explanation that I can think of!

trilliumgrovefarm said...

LOL!
Plant Lady

dinzie said...

Hi

Thanks for your note :O) It seems to be the American way to not take extended holidays..I think we get more annual leave as well..

Good luck with your writing and TV. I've enjoyed watching them .... :O)

Leptospermum scoparium!! How cool - It's a New Zealand Native. We call it Manuka or Tea tree. It has anticeptic leaves which are great for minor cuts or thoat gargles ... Also we get Manuka honey which is great for sore throats and stomach upsets ...

I can imagine it being a good bonsai ..We have a heap of self sown 'wild' ones in the garden, white in colour...

Look forward to the photos :O)

D

iona said...

They probably have a timeshare too!! Love your sense of humor. I'm a Bklyn Girl at heart but love SF and all of the North Coast.
Garden Lust Journal

Dan Eskelson said...

This is by far the most ridiculous (and terrifying!)landscape f__kup I've ever seen!

Where do these people come from?

Laura Livengood Schaub (InterLeafer) said...

un-be-freakin'-lievable...inspires me to chronicle some of the truly heinous landscapes I drive by every day...lawns might be going the way of the dodo, but what's taking their place truly needs our help...

L said...

I'm only laughing at this because otherwise I would cry. God, people can be stupid!

Sarah said...

I am guessing that your guess is right- grass out, fake stuff in.

And you're right, it looks sort of like those sprinkers are actually functioning?! Maybe this is the kind of fake grass that spontaneously combusts if it gets too hot and dry. It happens. ;^)

The other odd thing in this picture is that weird conglomeration of round white rocks and the foul orange strip alongside the fake grass.

Definitely an example of classic landscape kitsch.

Ross Nevette said...

That has got to be one of the laziest/most wasteful things I've seen. I bet the installers of the artificial grass didn't want to try and isolate that section of sprinklers, so they just chopped a couple of holes in the turf to save them the effort.
At least the weeds that are finding their way through are getting some nourishment!

Lancashire rose said...

I can tell you one thing. If they continue they will get weeds. I see one already.

Barbara E said...

Wow! What can one say? I wonder if they mow it too.

Germi said...

HA!
I am not surprised ... I've seen quite a few boneheaded moves lately! But this - this kinda takes the cake. Thanks for the laugh, wisenhiemer...