A Book That Fattens Your Wallet

I don't think I've ever started my blog with a joke, so here goes.

Scene: A dark, cold bedroom, 3:27 AM.

Margie, bundled in layers of blankets, startles Mort with a loving elbow jab to the ribs. "Honey, shut the window. It's cold outside."

Mort, ever the logical and snarky one, mumbles, "So if I shut the window it's going to be warmer outside?"

---

Okay, it's a pretty lame joke, but there's a point to be made. What if you could improve the comfort of your home without opening and closing windows, piling on and peeling off layers of blankets, or fumbling the thermostat with freeze-dried fingertips?

Better yet, what if you could combine your love of gardening with your environmentally keen attitude, AND reduce your energy bill?

Well, here comes Massachusetts-based landscape architect Sue Reed's book, Energy-Wise Landscape Design - A New Approach for Your Home and Garden, with a whole lot of smart advice. The book's back cover promises that you can "Save money and energy while adding natural beauty to your home." Sue delivers on that promise.

The first four sections of the book address ideas for designing landscapes with energy in mind, like arranging plants to make the interior of the house more comfortable in summer and winter. Other chapters are packed with strategies for making outdoor spaces around the house more usable.

Lots more to learn at my Cool Green Gardens blog at Fine Gardening

Urbanite - A New Mineral?

Even if you were paying really good attention in your Geology 101 class, you probably haven’t heard of urbanite. It comes in almost any color you can imagine, sits conveniently on the earth’s surface waiting to be loaded on a truck, and is as hard as concrete.

That’s cuz it IS concrete—recycled slabs of pavement seeking a second career. It makes sense to put such a durable and multi-use material back to work, instead of dumping it into landfills, then mining and manufacturing more.

Urbanite has lots of uses in the garden, as I was reminded on my Open Days garden tour in Pasadena last month. If you can build something with flagstone, you can generally substitute urbanite at a much reduced cost. It’s free, since scrap concrete is usually seen as a waste product that has to be disposed of. Most of the expense is in short-distance transportation and labor for installation. Better yet, if the concrete is from your former cracked driveway or patio, you can even scratch the cost of loading and transport.

See what else you can do with broken concrete at Cool Green Gardens

Severe Cutbacks

A few weeks ago I was taken to task about my word choice. It seems, in the opinion of more than one reader, that using "sucks" when describing many of the gardens I see might prevent me from reaching a wider audience.

I also mused about what a wonderful world it would be if we could eliminate gas-fueled tools. A reader offered, "Pretty good stuff. But I'd tone down the attack on folks who use power tools…I don't use chemicals in the garden, but do use gas in the mowers. I'm a sinner, not a saint."

Mae West allusion aside, I guess should set the record straight. I know that power tools are here to stay - they're just so damn convenient.

[Darn it! I said "damn". That pretty much locks up spending eternity in H-E Double Hockey Sticks.]

I've gotta admit, power tools are fast, convenient and allows a gardener to keep his monthly charges down. I only wish the guys wielding these tools had a microgram of understanding about plant physiology. As long as I'm dreaming, what if they had imagination and a sense of play?

Shear Madness - Plant Physiology 101

Whether it's you or a hired gardener shearing a hedge, keep in mind that leaves are the solar collectors that drive the plant's engine. Sunlight provides energy to convert carbon dioxide to carbohydrates, the food the plant needs to survive. If you're continually shearing off the productive leaves, it's like throwing a blanket over your solar collectors.

Read the rest and check out the delightful pruning fantasies at Edhat.com

Nibbling Through the Nosh-O-Sphere

You're probably a few months from that frightful moment when you machete your way to the back of your veggie bed, lift an umbrella-sized leaf and behold a zucchini big enough to have its own zip code. I don't know if this is an urban legend or something I heard on A Prairie Home Companion, but there's supposedly this town in Wisconsin (or San Diego or something) where at the end of summer, when the garden is pumping on all 12 cylinders, people sneak under stealth of night, dumping their unwanted green bioblimps on their neighbor's porch. The neighbor, in turn, fattens the collection with a few of their own and then tiptoes away on their own ninja escapade.

The Burden of Bounty

It's easy to go overboard planting fruit trees and other edibles, only to find that you'd have to be a reality-TV family like Kate & Nate and Their Horde of 38, to eat everything you've grown. Simpler to find a willing recipient for your overstock and find something else to feel guilty about.

You can find a welcoming home for your extra edibles by checking out what Santa Barbara Food Not Lawns is doing to make our area a healthier, better connected, sustainable community.

See how you can do this in your own neck of the woods - In The Garden of Ed

My Ten Commandments (Minus the Burning Bush)

This is my 50th blog post at Edhat. Overlooking my schizophrenic swings between writer's block and the fear of numbing repetition, blogging for Ed has made for a jolly good time.

Writing has been therapeutic. Putting my thoughts into words forces me to examine my beliefs about beauty, purpose and sustainability. Along the way, I have either confirmed what I already thought to be true, or reexamined long-held beliefs and come away with a fresh perspective.

Stupid = Ugly

Most gardens I see are either blah or they outright suck. If they were just ugly, I wouldn't be so pissing furious driving through suburban neighborhoods. After all, ugly is in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as stunningly beautiful can trigger their neighbor's gag reflex.


Read the rest at Garden of Ed

Looking at Green Through Rose Colored Glasses

I'm all for making the world a better place and the buzz word for getting there seems to be "green." But who decides what passes for green? No, I don't want another agency certifying who is and who isn't. But Jeez Louise, can't we tighten the definition to exclude healing crystals, eco-friendly dog obedience classes and all the other New Age crap that some folks try to foist on us?

This blog post is a follow-up to my trip to the LA Go Green Expo, which was 90% supah dupah and dead-on in my book. But I had to have a LITTLE fun. And Ed Begley Jr. just qualified for the title of "Green Mensch" and all around fun guy.

Read the rest at my Fine Gardening blog...

When Planets Align - Me and Shirley

Every once in a while someone comes into your life who is just meant to be there. A few years ago, I met Shirley Bovshow, first via comments on each other's blogs, then dimply face to scruffy forgot-to-shave face at the Portland Garden Writers Symposium in 2008. It was like we'd know each other since we were kids.

Ever since, Shirley (the Brooklyn boy in me pronounces it SHOOOY-lee) and I have been looking out for each other, doing video projects at her skyrocketing Garden World Report online TV project and wherever else we can team up.

This weekend, the Bovshow kid told me she'd be attend the Go Green Expo in Los Angeles. Every imaginable "green" living product and service under one roof. I'll be donning my stingy brim, filling my hip flask with a full dose of smarminess and see what kind of useful information we can report to you from the show.

For more info about what's going on and what to expect from this gruesome twosome, click over to Shirley's hand-crafted, perfectly seasoned Edenmaker blog.

Hope to see you at the Expo.

Can Coyote Pee Repel Zombies In The Garden?

Once again, my inner 3rd grader was on the loose, interviewing a rep for an unusual product at the Garden Writers Association symposium in Raleigh, NC a few weeks ago. The full article and video are at my Fine Gardening blog. Here's a teaser...

"I stifled a giggle as I approached Ronald Boyce, an actual scientist who works for Shake-Away Animal Repellant, developed as the humane and environmentally safe way to repel deer, woodchucks, armadillos, skunks and other unwanted garden visitors. They use coyote and wolf urine to keep four-legged pests out of the pea patch...

I couldn’t contain myself. Tapping into my hard-hitting Kathy Lee Crosby journalistic instincts, I peppered him with probing questions. "How do you get them to pee on demand? Do they prefer Miller Lite or Stella Artois? Who follows them around with the specimen cup? Would Shake-Away prevent zombie invasions?"

Video blog link!

The Third-Annual Santa Barbara Not-So-Beautiful Awards

For the past few years, I've taken it upon myself to peel back the fetid cloak of darkness and draw your attention to a parallel alternate universe of hideous and paralyzingly misguided landscapes ... a realm so evil and disturbing that parents rush to protect their children from the Boschian vision. Despite the personal joy I get from ripping to shreds these misguided landscapes, my intent is to give my readers useful information-I just like to spew a little bile while getting there.

Read the whole, hideous mess here...

Rethinking the Suburban Lawn: National Coalition Launches New Website - Fine Gardening

I've joined forces with a heavy-hitting group of bloggers, garden writers and film producers. We've been tinkering with, debating about and editing a new website designed to help people take a fresh look at our obsession with lawns.

The Lawn Reform Coalition is the brainchild of Susan Harris, co-creator of the brilliant, and at times, scathing blog, GardenRant. Join us and find out more about beautiful, functional, sustainable approaches to gardening.

Below is the link to my blog post at Fine Gardening. You'll find lots of great links AND a chance to win grass guru John Greenlee's new book, The American Meadow Garden.

Rethinking the Suburban Lawn: National Coalition Launches New Website - Fine Gardening

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This past summer I treated myself to a brain expanding permaculture design course at Santa Barbara City College. I was already very conversant in the sustainable horticultural practices that are embodied within the permaculture paradigm: Work with nature, respecting the unique natural systems inherent in every site.

It was the lecture about building community that expanded my vision of how all the pieces fit together. We watched an inspirational video about Mark Lakeman and his organization, City

That evening I walked my neighborhood, realizing how sterile and soulless it felt compared to what I had just seen (except for the McConnell's ice cream shop). Where were the brightly painted mandalas in the intersections or fanciful bus shelters built from locally harvested street trees? I didn't see one box of fresh produce generously left in a curbside kiosk.

The 3-year old in me petulantly pouted, "I want some of THOSE THINGS!"

Mark Lakeman and City Repair to the rescue...

Read the rest of the story at Edhat.com...

Why Are You Working So Hard? Blow Up Your Rototiller!

I've kinda had it with all these so called "sustainable tips" that start with "Buy a butt load of compost that's been trucked in from who-knows-where and dump it on your beds. Then turn on the Cuisine Art and blend your soil into a lifeless medium for plants that don't belong in your garden."

Well, that's not what they say, but you get the idea.

Here's the whole story at Fine Gardening...

Toxic Aisles at the Drug Store

When Big Pharma extends its tendrils into the gardening aisle at my local drug store, I get worried. I poked around a little to see what Bayer (last I recall, they were pimping aspirin) was up to. This recent post at my Edhat.com blog made me realize that healing the sick and obliterating garden pests and diseases can walk hand in hand.

While I've got you here, stay tuned for a big announcement in September. Susan Harris, one of the forces of nature behind the wildly popular GardenRant blog has marshaled the talents of a national cadre of garden bloggers (me included) to spread the gospel about lawn alternatives. Watch for LawnReform.org.

My YouTube Video is Going Viral!!!

I'm a freakin' rock star on YouTube? How else would you explain 1000 hits in 2 weeks for a bizarre, silly music video?

I co-host a humorous/educational TV show in the greater Santa Barbara region along with Owen Dell. We're called the Garden Wise Guys (sound familiar?) and have been on the air for about 4 years, doing a new show every 3 months. The most recent episode, called Lawn & Order, is all about finding rational ways to reduce or eliminate our wasteful, unsustainable love affair with turf grass.

It starts with Owen and me dressed in orange prison jump suits, awaiting sentencing by the judge. Our offense? Our extreme position about murdering lawns. We get 24 hours to convince the judge that we can tone down the rhetoric and provide a more measured approach to water conservation and environmentally friendly landscaping.

But the high point is the 3 minute music video. It's titled "Takin' Out The Grass Is A Gas, Baby Can You Dig It?" I'd love to tell you more about it, but you wouldn't believe me. So take a look. If nothing else, you'll enjoy my bright flamingo-colored sport coat and stingy brim hat.

Slackin' on my posts

Hey, gang of probably dwindling loyal readers. I'm been a baaaaaaaad boy at keeping this blog fed. It's a good news/bad news story but I'll lay it out for you.

After humble beginnings a few years ago, my Garden Wise Guy blog has become the seed for what's turning into a real writing career. I retire from my 22 year gig as landscape architect for Santa Barbara and will be spending a lot more time at the keyboard.

From little blogs, big writing trees have grown--a veritable copse, no, more like a grove, NO, make that a forest! Aside from a bi-weekly blog at Santa Barbara-centric Edhat.com, I had, until recently, been freelance writing for two magazines in the Santa Barbara area. That's been good for building my writing chops, and just as I found out I was being laid off (I'm choosing to call it "retire" since I qualify for a pension) doors have sprung open and the welcome mat is saying "hello."

Long story short. I've been hired by Fine Gardening Magazine to contribute to their web site under the "brand" of Cool Green Gardens. It's a column about sustainable landscaping from a Left Coast perspective and I get to rant just like I rant here. Not to brag too much, but a recent design article on curing "one-of-each-itis" got 10,000 hits in two weeks. "Speechless" is all I can say.

So, as you can see, with two "real" writing jobs, a consulting practice to ramp up, drumming with King Bee and a new teaching position at the local community college (I get to teach landscape design!), it's hard to keep this blog well fed.

This blog has become a repository for click-throughs to my other writing. Hopefully, you'll still find it convenient to stop by here first, then venture out along the cyber-tendrils. If not, find me directly through these links below...

Time to pimp my new articles.


One at Fine Gardening is about a laid-off economist who's going back to school to study garden design. Very inspirational. If you come by, I'll love to read your comments.


And the most recent Edhat, Miracle on San Andres St., is near and dear to me, celebrating the greatest project I've had the good fortune to manage in my career. It's the story of an art-filled oasis in one of Santa Barbara's less-seen neighborhoods. There's also a link to a photo-essay at Flickr.

Later, skaters.

One-Of-Each-Itis: Ruiner of Gardens

I've got my newest post up at my Cool Green Gardens blog at Fine Gardening. "You've got the fever (yea yea) I've got the cure!"

Based on a rigorous statistical analysis that I recently made up, I've detected the near pandemic expansion of One-Of-Each-Itis. You know you suffer from it, but your first step to wellness will come only when you admit you have a problem.

This tongue in cheek article ends with solid design advice that lets you buy on impulse but still end up with a strong design. I pondered how one of those "Maybe you should ask your doctor about..." ad might start...

Scene 1: Baby boomer couple, she in a mint green gardening hat with little pink Cecil Bruner roses on the band; he in his weekend Eddie Bauer sartorial splendor. They are meandering through a nursery looking at the vast selection of colorful, enticing perennials, discussing the merits of each. They are smiling and laughing, but as he continues to observe his wife, an ominous look of worry creeps over his face.

Come on over for a read. I'd love it if you left a comment, too!

Intercontinental Ballistic Blogging - My Interview in Poland.

I was most flattered to receive an invitation from Ewa Szulc to be interviewed at her blog. Ewa and I have been great admirers of each other's blogs since we both "hung out our shingles" at Blogger.

Ewa wanted to know how blogging has changed my life. Given the recent development of my becoming the new West Coast blogger for Fine Gardening Magazine's web site, I had a lot to say.

Click over to her blog and see what's up. I'll be interviewing this delightful Polish blogger in the coming weeks.

Must We ALWAYS Be Funny?

(L) Billy Goodnick (R) Owen Dell

Owen Dell, author of Sustainable Landscaping For Dummies, is a pretty funny guy. I know, because I'm a pretty funny guy. We've been working together on a regional TV show called Garden Wise Guys (GWG) for about three years. It's a silly show. It's a very informative show. We're very fond of each other and the chemistry that erupts when we're working on ideas for the show is actually better than the show. We often comment that the writing sessions are far better than what we capture on GWG.

We think we're very clever and have an important message about embracing sustainable landscaping practices. So for a while we tried to figure out how to take over the world!!! (MWA HA HA!!! said the boyz, rubbing their hands together...no, clarification: Owen rubs his hands together while I rub MY hands together). We thought up a few business ideas all of which we gave up on. Its initials were CGG. Nuff about that...here's the main point, which I believe reinforces the initial contention that Owen and I are very silly people. The following is a series of e-mails that began as a serious question, but as generally happens between us, was trampled and pounded beyond recognition due to the unmitigated urge to be clever and funny. Herewith...

Original question from Owen:
B,
I'll be speaking in Vancouver, B.C. next month on business
opportunities in sustainable landscaping. They have asked me whether
I have any hard statistics on the market, where the money is, etc. I
really don't, but I think it's a reasonable request and a good thing
to add to my talk. If you happen to have any thoughts on how to find
such info I'd appreciate hearing them. I'll be looking into this over
the next couple of weeks.

Thanks.

Response from Billy
O. Perplexing and illusive. As you know, that's the question we keep asking ourselves.
Given what we heard from someone recently (was it Rusznak?) I'd start with the reference librarian at the main library. Could kill two birds with one stone (that's the IPM approach); one for your Vancouver talk and one for CGG.


Reply from Owen
Yes, but is that stone native sandstone or has it been trucked in? If native, was it removed from a protected area or were any endangered species hiding under it at the time of removal? Was an EIR issued for the project? Will the stone be returned to its original location after it has been used to kill the two birds?

O.

From Billy

You're such a buzz killer!

If you really need to know, it was not actually a stone in the geologic mineral sense, but was made from organic waste, originating at the south end of a northbound musk ox, then hand-formed and sun dried into perfect spheres by indigenous Nepalese dung sculptors, carried down from the Himalayas on beasts of burden (who urinated on sprouting organic vegetables along the way), then placed on sail boats and brought to Santa Barbara, where the biodegradable hemp packaging was reused as tie-dyed fabrics to cloth poverty-stricken hippies at De la Guerra Plaza. Then the "stones" were distributed to sadistic little children of meth addicts who would ambush the rare double-breasted pin-striped Western warbler and smash its little skull repeatedly. The carcass of the boid was rendered into blood and bone meal, then sent back on the aforementioned sailboats to the foothills of the Himalayas to supplement the urine-soaked organic veggies.

You can calculate the embodied energy, but I think it's minimal. My conscience is clear.

~~~~~~
If you'd like to catch a bit of our show, we're at sbwater.org

My Ego Needs Viagra

It is with great pleasure, pomposity and (need a word with a 'P', hmmmm...) pistachios that I announce the on-line episode of "Garden Wise Guys: The Big Picture." Ooops, forgot to put a bunch of exclamation marks at the end of that sentence, and now I've gone too far, so I'm going to skip it, and besides, I haven't had my morning coffee yet and the reach with my pinkie finger is too risky. Onward! ouch.

I co-host Garden Wise Guys on the City of Santa Barbara's own cable channel. Owen Dell, author of the just-released Sustainable Landscaping for Dummies (at his website) is the co-host and co-writer, and all-around fabulous and brilliant dude. We've had the quarterly show on the air going on our third year and this episode shares all the ideas of sustainable landscaping in an Ebert & Siskel meet Mystery Science Theater retrospective mashup, to explain the big ideas. We got to wear tuxedos and pontificate from the gloriously restored Granada Theater in downtown Santa Barbara. We also got our asses thrown out (and wait for the outtakes at the end - mucho fun).

The episode runs about an hour, so get a soft cushion for your chair, a stiff tumbler of your favorite adult beverage (or tea, if you prefer) and prepare for fun. We even have a cameo appearance from our rubber chicken mascot, Dirtrude. That's her in the middle, Owen on the right.

If you make it through the whole episode, please come back here and let me know what you think. My ego is a frail thing.

But enough about ME. Let's talke about YOU. What do YOU think about me?

Would Someone Please Make Those Planets Align?

I don't know what's worse--plant janitors (can't call them gardeners) with no understanding of sustainable landscaping practices or the owner who pays them and lets them get away with all sorts of heinous acts. In this week's column at Edhat.com I explore why the buck keeps getting passed around.